did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
