She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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