I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
