so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
