Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
