hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I lost the right to judge tonight
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize