If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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