Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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