Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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