but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
drinking out of a sandbucket again
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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