I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
