Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
