I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
