Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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