When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
