His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
