PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
