Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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