i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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