i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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