please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
