Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Randomize
