Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
