Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
