he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
