So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
There's always time for handjobs
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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