it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
