If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
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