Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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