His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
are you so shy because you have an std?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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