The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
