Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
