We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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