Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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