I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize