my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
