is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
