Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
