your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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