We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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