she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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