There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
