Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
