Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
