So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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