There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
