My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize