i just google imaged poop.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
