My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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