barbara walters just said penis...
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
