ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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