don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize