everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
