Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Dignity is for republicans.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
