The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
