All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
