We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
