i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
It's no shave November. This is our time.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
