it was like eating out sand paper
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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