Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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