Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
