mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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